that’s not what your mother named you
*tries to talk*
“you should talk more!”
when i was in kindergarten i had this babysitter who cooked the best steak i’d ever had and i’d always ask what it was and she said “people” every time and i’d laugh and ask what it really was and she’d just reply “people” and i found out in first grade that she got arrested and was sentenced to 50 years-life in prison
and that’s the story about how my babysitter was basically hannibal lecter and i was will graham for a whole year
whats worse to hear
a) you’re like a brother to me
b) you’re my best friend
c) my confidant
d) my silly rabbit
nothings worse than passing up an opportunity you know you would’ve enjoyed because of the fear of being judged
"i cant sleep"
BITCH IF I FUCKING KNEW, I WOULD’VE FIXED IT ALREADY AND GONE THE FUCK TO BED LIKE????
me: ok i’ll study at 8:00
me: *pretends i didn’t see*