parasailin-sarahpalin:

image

that’s not what your mother named you

(via lmaopost)

princeofhopefulness:

deodrant:

*tries to talk*

*gets ignored*

“you should talk more!”

(via seanp0donnell)

  • Me: am I mean?
  • Friend: yes
  • Me: who even asked for your ugly opinion? Who even invited you here anyway?
  • nun: pastor, we are having trouble with the exorcism
  • pastor: have you tried unblessing and blessing again ?

richard-sp8-jr:

when i was in kindergarten i had this babysitter who cooked the best steak i’d ever had and i’d always ask what it was and she said “people” every time and i’d laugh and ask what it really was and she’d just reply “people” and i found out in first grade that she got arrested and was sentenced to 50 years-life in prison

and that’s the story about how my babysitter was basically hannibal lecter and i was will graham for a whole year

(Source: jumpingjaverts, via lmaopost)

reverseracist:

zizino:

whats worse to hear 

a) you’re like a brother to me
b) you’re my best friend

c) my confidant
d) my silly rabbit

(via beyoncevevo)

nutella:

gettin real tired of my own bullshit

(Source: reinapepiada, via lmaopost)

stability:

nothings worse than passing up an opportunity you know you would’ve enjoyed because of the fear of being judged

(Source: stability, via seanp0donnell)

movsi:

*puts snapchat text over area of insecurity* 

(via beyoncevevo)

heartmehateme:

shoutout to the friends that still like me

all two of you

(via lmaopost)

brow:

"i cant sleep"

"why"

BITCH IF I FUCKING KNEW, I WOULD’VE FIXED IT ALREADY AND GONE THE FUCK TO BED LIKE????

(Source: brow, via hi)

me: ok i’ll study at 8:00

clock: 8:00

me: *pretends i didn’t see*

(via seanp0donnell)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

dear board of education, 
i am too

(via lohanthony)

©